Check This Shit Out

Peace be with you

I have never seen anything like this in my life. My trolls, the North Coast Journal (Hank “dandy” Sims), the McKinleyville Press (Jack Duran), and the Arcata [L]Eye (Terrence McNally), have taken to filling up my blog with gibberish. These mother fuckers are moving my ass up the google search engine like a ten engine rail over the Rockys.

Check out their crap in my comment section: here. My question is what is their profit from acting like asses in public? Its decreasing the public comments, but it is really increasing my readership. Does anyone else think they conspired in advance to attack my blog? No doubt there are now interesting e-mails between three news papers. I put those emails on my bucket list of things to read.

Can you really say I’m not getting to them?

love eternal


42 Responses to “Check This Shit Out”

  1. Terrence McNally Says:


    make story funny.

  2. Hank Sims Says:

    These mother fuckers are moving my ass up the google search engine like a ten engine rail over the Rockys.

    I gotta say — horrible grammar and spelling aside, this is your best line ever.

  3. Hank Sims Says:

    My question is what is their profit from acting like asses in public?

    Oh, Tad, we’re not so different, really, you and I.


  4. Terrence McNally Says:

    I don’t like Rage Against the Machine.

  5. jackdurham Says:

    Tad, if it makes you feel any better, I’ve been a proponent of legalization since I was a freshman in high school circa 1983-84. Grow em and smoke em.

    But Terrence is right – Rage Against the Machine sucks. The Dead Kennedys is where it’s at. Why promote the powers that be when fighting against them?

    Reminds me of these two old guys I saw bitching about the decline of the United States and the loss of jobs. They were sitting in a McDonald’s located inside a Wal-Mart.

    I wanted to yell “Hey Man! Look around. THIS is what the problem is!” But I was too busy waiting for my Sausage McBiscuit.

  6. Terrence McNally Says:

    We’re all waiting for your Sausage McBiscuit, Jack.

  7. Mr. Nice Says:

    Damn y’all still talking about rage against the machine and dead kennedys when dead prez is about to be in tweak town again?

    They got “Be Healthy”

    Lentil soup is mental fruit
    and ginger root is good for yout
    fresh vegetable with mayatl stew
    sweet yam fries with sweet calalloo

    Humboldt folks can relate to that shit.

    They got “Sellin D.O.P.E.”

    Over three million is tied and plus the president lied
    Because the white house is the rock house
    Uncle sam the pusha man
    This is for my people on the island

    Sellin dope, servin weed, we had to hustle to hustle just to eat
    Sellin dope, servin weed, we had to hustle to hustle just to eat

    Dave Chapelle’s jam “Hip Hop”

    Uh, who shot Biggie Smalls?
    If we don’t get them
    they gon get us all
    I’m down for runnin up on them crackers in they city hall does all kinna independent shit too. Go buy tickets or sneak in or something.

    Tad you can’t get to nobody who doesn’t get it.

  8. Hank Sims Says:

    I have never seen anything like this in my life.

    It is an honor and a privilege to bring something new into the lives of the jaded and world-weary.

  9. Hank Sims Says:

    Its decreasing the public comments, but it is really increasing my readership.

    So you’ve got three professional writers volunteering to push traffic to your site. Quitcherbitchin.

    Also, re: “its” & “it’s” — please see this helpful chart, of which my man Nice could not but approve.

  10. Mr. Nice Says:

    How about rehashing some real issues instead.

    Eureka just passed a ban on homeless people smoking. The journal sorta covered it and talked about boozehounds on some patios and Hank Sims touched on Opera Alley but really wtf that isn’t even a good place to blaze weed.

    But naw, it’s a ban on homeless people smoking. Everyone with a lick of sense knows that. Homeless people smoke in vast numbers. Maybe homeless folks get bored and instead of talking to themselves, they smoke bogeys. Or they never get that 50 together for somma that nicotine-laced gum. Maybe nobody ever told them when they got all close saying P that they got the dragon as fuck. I dunno what it is. Some type of block.

    Anyways, people are suckers to believe banning smoking in public spaces is not a backdoor ban strictly on homeless people smoking. Folks with cars can just go smoke in their car and blow the shit out on pedestrians after they cut us off in the crosswalk because nobody knows how to use a fucking stop sign. Somehow that is legit and there won’t be tickets for that. But be smoking pipe tobacco in rizzlas in the parking lot on some sparajuana, $100 ticket. $100 ticket for being homeless in broad daylight.

    I take exception to this shit even though we all know the only good tobacco products are backwoods and black and milds and then just the wrapper is good, this ain’t europe. And I don’t mean those “pineapple kush” fake ass blunt wraps what is the point of that. Everything else tho is just some fiendish addiction. So now it’s the cops job to shake down addicts who have no place to go.

    Fuck that shit. It’s wrong to kick people out of town on an unpaid ticket on a stupid ass violation.

    • Hank Sims Says:

      Alley. Legal.

      I’m trying to be part of the solution, here, Nice!

    • Hank Sims Says:

      Oh, and …

      Maybe nobody ever told them when they got all close saying P that they got the dragon as fuck.

      I hear you, bro. Well fucking put.

      • Anonymous Says:

        I dunno what it is.

      • Mr. Nice Says:

        For serious halitosis is rampant in Eureka city streets.

        Bad combos. Folks don’t eat so they got that natural gutter rot. Then they smoke rollies on top of that. It’s all “how it’s going BRO” and with that you got some kinna bad funk out their mouth. If the city wants to improve atmosphere they should go hand out some cardamom or something.

      • theplazoid Says:

        Peace be with you

        Add to that there is no dental care for the poor. We just have to let our teeth rot out of our heads. Perhaps if there was public spaces, but no we’ve asked for that for years.

        love eternal

    • theplazoid Says:

      Peace be with you

      Of course it will be selectively enforced, they always are.

      I like the outer leaf on the La Gloria personally.

      love eternal

  11. Terrence McNally Says:

    Hi, Mr. Nice/Anon/R.Mous –

    How bout posting with a name instead of an aphalliac blue screen blog poster?
    Like a proper member of society.

    Tad says (wait for it).

    Self-love always.

    • theplazoid Says:

      Peace be with you

      Mr. Nice is fine here. You are a member of our community, so you don’t have to be a member of Terrence’s “society.”

      love eternal

      • Terrence McNally Says:

        He is a member of my society.
        So are you.

      • theplazoid Says:


        When someone, believing themselves proper, divides society into “proper,” and not-proper that someone pushes his/her view of proper on everyone else. I think the right wing calls it “American traditional values,” but it is really the self-called “proper” telling the poor how they should live.

        You may view us as members of “your” society, much like a rock can be viewed as a hammer, but you are not a member of our community. You don’t make any attempt to help, you are not invited to our parties, and we wont tell you who we are.

        love eternal

  12. Terrence McNally Says:

    It’s almost like… this blog has been taken over by ne’er do wells.

    Just like Tad likes.

  13. Terrence McNally Says:

    Oh, well – Mr. Nice has to go back to his day job in the cube in the morning.

    Nightie, whitie.

    Ketch you on the dope side.

  14. Anonymous Says:

    If Jesus wanted the bums and the poor to have nice teeth, then they would have been born rich. Yes, True.

  15. Jack Durham Says:

    The poor folk need to link up with Social Services. Help is out there, including dental care. You have to jump through some hoops, and everyone won’t qualify. But it’s worth the effort to try. Also, floss, floss, floss.

    • Anonymous Says:

      Wrong! Show how ignorant (or just behind the times) Jack Durham is. MediCal CUT ALL DENTAL SERVICES to the poor over TWO YEARS AGO. Figures for the northern branch of the Hoover/Sims cult to be so out of touch when it comes to poor people and what they face in this county.

  16. Terrence McNally Says:

    Anyway, Jack – October 5 is looking pretty good for the party.
    Will that work for you?

    Hank? Can you ask the Gerbil crew?

    • Hank Sims Says:

      That’s production night, and also Best Show on WFMU night. But that’s cool, I can catch it on the podcast.

      Now, tell me again where this is going down. Hyampom?

  17. Terrence McNally Says:

    Honestly, Tad – how many parties are you actually throwing?

  18. Jack Durham Says:

    I think that will work. Should we all wear matching outfits?

  19. Jack Durham Says:

    I’ll have to take a break from this party planning for the next several hours. While I’m gone you fellas should discuss table decorations, etc. (I like dolies.)

    As a member of the establishment/media elite, I need to jump in my Corolla and deliver newspapers from Eureka to Trinidad and fill my pockets with quarters along the way. Yer haw!

  20. Terrence McNally Says:

    Totally. Me too, ink stained wretches that we are.

    Make sure to wipe yer keyboard down, Mr. Nice.

  21. jackdurham Says:

  22. Terrence McNally Says:

    This is an interesting story.

    I wonder if you say, fuck, fuck, fuck, shit, cocksuck, rat fuck all the time, it changes how you think, too.

  23. Terrence McNally Says:

    This seems wrong:

  24. Terrence McNally Says:

    They hate the French!

  25. jackdurham Says:

    I’m not sure about this. I think more research is in order.

  26. suzy blah blah Says:

    –the last straw for me was when he asked with a grin if i was havin’ a good time.

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